Hello little one inside☺️ here's a dedicated post for my first pregnancy. Me and your dad first discover you're inside of me just 3 days before my departure to Serui, where i used to work. For the past month we've been enjoying life and oursleves as we moved to our appartment and taking few trips to couple of cities and just living the life we've been longing for since our dating days in serui. Finally comfort and warmth in each other's arms(also in Jkt😉). When the 2 stripes pop from the testpack, we were a little surprised. Happy and confused at the same time. Also a little worried... maybe more than a little but not too worried, but of course we're a little worried because the life we knew will change. We immediately goes to the hospital to check and you were just a little tiny dot inside my belly 😊 asked the doctor wether i could board on an airplane or not and she said "yes, it's safe to board".. and so here i goes.. not alone now but with you inside of me. Taking 3 airplane trips and even an hour rough road ride from the airport to serui, while always beware + talking to you to be strong even though nobody knows you were inside.
Not long after that, i go on another office travel to Jayapura, through another 2 airplane trips each time so it is 4 airplane trips plus 2 rough road ride!! But it is like we go on an adventure just the 2 of us right baby?? So you've been to makassar, serui, jayapura, biak. Even your aunties haven't!!
First trimester was rough :( i was shocked by the amount of dizziness and nausea i felt. It was like a ride in a roller coaster for 2 hour straight, at least 1-3 times a day, every day. Imagine going on halilintar in dufan and for 2 hour straight the vehicle goes non stop!! I also miss your daddy so much that i've felt so lonely and i shut down for some time. There even some days where i didn't eat for more than 12 hour because i had breakdowns and end up isolating myself. My skin allergic also got so bad that i can't consume any dairy and even water make my skin itchy!! Maybe because psychologically i am so tortured by being away from all the comfort that i've been blessed with. I also lost 2kgs instead of gaining weight:( But as time goes by, i try so hard to balance all the tortured feelings by eating more of what i like, drink juice everyday, journaling, reading, lots of sleeping, TONS of binge-watching few series, also some motorcycle ride around serui city as i talked to you and gave you a mini tour of where your mom&dad used to date. For few times i visited the doctor and everytime you were always dancing around, you were little, very very little, but i saw you floating and moving around, so cuuuute.
Second trimester... it gets kinda better. I feel the first burp from you:") finally i can feel you. i was alone for a month and when the decree comes out your dad immediately get on the plane to pick us up XD. Then here we are greeted by our family, the yummy-food, the comdort of home, the easy-access, the less-stressing environment. "Suddenly life makes sense again". I get to eat all the foods i've been craving. Within 2 months those long list has been checked. I've been getting a lot of new spirit and energy to redraw my life and prepare for you. For some time, I've been just focusing on getting you a proper nutrition, and hoping you were healthy inside, growing gracefully. Often times i still can't feel you, i just feel my back and my legs are heavier. I feel more tired faster. When i was in serui, i haven't really exercising and i just been reading books about how to be an emotionally healthy parents, been reading and listening to lots of podcast/article about how to "heal" before you comes. I didn't feel like i am emotionally wrecked or something but of course i've got some issues like how i'm so insecure and all the way that i am, i've been focusing on solving how i am the way i am, i wanted to untangled all of them before you came so that i can be better parents for you. However.. when i finally reunited with your dad, he reminds me.. of course you are all that i am + all that your dad is. We are humans, we have our good traits and bad traits. The important thing is to keep reminding each other so that we can raise you to be a better person than we both are. Since i've felt more calm, i then realized i've been so worried about becoming a parent that i forgot to prepare the step before i become parent. Preparing for your delivery!! i've been then taking many classes since then, about pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding, and new born care. There are SOOO MANY things i didn't know before. Still learning now, but i have new goals that i hope i still can endure in the 3rd trimester.. i am so happy as i learn all of this!! All the preparation and the learning is my new hobby now 😆
Reaching the third trimester... i can feel that almost all the time you always move. Wether it's a kick, or a burp, or you tickling me from the inside!! XD i imagine you're dancing around inside the floating bubble, i didn't expect it but i love 3rd trimester because i can feel you more💖
Currently 33 weeks preggy now. i can no longer fit in any pants even pregnancy pants, goodbye! My belly felt heavy and it's hard to breath. If you see me now, you may recognize that i am pregnant but if you meet me please do not to tell to add more weighs because it's so heavy already!!😂 I've been blessed with gaining not too much weight (15kgs actually, not that "not too much") but sometimes it drove people crazy like "what?! You should add your weight more!!!" Omg, with the amount of food that i ate regularly i can't breath already so okay of course i'm trying to but stop!! XD
Last but not least, i hope God trusted me with a comfortable nest inside my belly for you so far and until the time comes, my dearest. Also thank you if anyone happen to be reading all the way to the bottom. Through this post, i hope i can always recall my first pregnancy moments and memories. I also humbly ask you all our beloved friends and families for your blessings and prayers for our little baby inside♡ we're so excited for you baby :)!!
